I have found that language can be such a hindrance to the whole spectrum of human emotion. My understanding of the written and spoken word shows me no sign of sympathy when trying to express the most primitive and complex feelings spewing out of my heart and mind at any thought provoking moment. Every moment of every memory is so delicate that writing a single word out of place can be truly depredating to the integrity of the memory itself. So how do i express? The question is perplexing. To recapture a moment with words, to let a whole world of emotions explode from a page and make you feel in the moment. The subtle intricacies of a memory, a feeling, are not easily shared. For example. To say someone is devastated doesn't fully impose that feeling or emotion upon a reader. As someone who has experienced such a feeling in the sense of complete heartbreak. I can say that the word itself is hollow. It is ambiguous. Without description and context the canvas is bare. When i tell someone i am devastated they don't immediately think of the overwhelming sense of self criticism and vanity, which while hard to avoid are not completely without their place. The self exploration and curiosity of ones own flaws can show you deeper causes of unhappiness, healthier ways of expressing your angst and essentially dealing with it. It brings about a cruel kind of reassurance, a confirmation of feelings you had although not always expressed, a constant reminder of loss, a clarity of your own surroundings and people who care about you. What i never foresaw was the urge to change.
Made the picture in Photoshop in 2 minutes(You can tell!)